All day I’ve been thinking about how a good mother raises a child. Hopefully she teaches the kid what she expects, what the child should be doing in any given situation, how to be polite and even how important it is to ask questions. A good mom does not constantly say or scream NO. The poor kid only knows what they’ve done wrong, not what the parent wants.
I’m kind of shaken up about not understanding that gossip is talking about anybody. There must be parameters, but I haven’t grasped them yet. Thinking about this made me ponder other conundrums I have had. People might snicker, but I spent days trying to figure out what petting truly means. I looked it up in talks and dictionaries and other sources. Mostly what I found were vague descriptions and euphemisms.
If you’ve been reading my stuff for a few years, do you remember the first time I ever went to sacrament meeting as a newly baptized Mormon? I got to church on Sunday and NO ONE was there! I burst into tears and had no idea what was going on. At home I had set the DVR to record General Conference, then I took off for Montpelier. No one explained to me that folks stayed home for general conference! I had no clue. Geeze…
Then I was confused about Relief Society when I got to Florida. I knew our third meetings on Sunday were divided up between men and women and I went to Relief Society. I never quite figured out why sometimes Heather was with me and sometimes she was with a group of teen girls. It was all a mystery to me.
Then there were the meetings on weeknights. I thought they were for higher ups or something. I had no idea that enrichment had anything to do with Relief Society. I didn’t go to these evening meetings because I didn’t know I was supposed to or that I was invited. It was only when the RS president made a snide comment about people not attending that a glimmer of understanding hit me. I felt soooo guilty!
I’ve been LDS for 2 1/2 years, but have been floating around most of that time. Maybe 3 or 4 times two women came to visit me at my house in Zephyrhills. That was Visiting Teaching. After a while I was given a partner, a list of names and told to visit teach. The partner never wanted to go the two months I was assigned to her. We never did visit anybody. I called folks and sent some cards and then I was gone from the ward. It wasn’t until much later that I learned I was supposed to tell a particular woman every time I visited, talked or wrote to the folks on my list. Sigh…
I still don’t know the difference between Gospel Principles and Gospel Essentials. I looked one of them up last week online. I knew what Family Home Evening was way before I ever became a Mormon…but what the heck were Empty Nesters? Once I found out, I went to those meetings most Monday nights.
There are all sorts of groups and acronyms and other things I don’t quite understand yet. I used to ask lots of questions in RS…once I knew enough to ask the questions!
I feel like I have a very strong testimony, but am lost when it comes to the other stuff. Well…like the scriptures say….line upon line, precept upon precept… Feel free to enlighten me about things I seem clueless about.
U have a very nice way of expressing yourself. Very well defined thoughts
You have the perfect mentor right in your own ward – Betty! She is super smart and will answer any questions you have. I have been a member for 27 years and I still have lots of questions. On Betty’s Sunday to work the Family History Center with me, I ask her all kinds of things and she answers me. If she doesn’t know the answer (which is very rare), she gets back to me with the answer.
I don’t know much about the LDS church specifically, but I have been “over my head” in complex situations. I look for a book/pamphlet/article explaining the basics and/or a mentor who has experience with whatever it is.
I certainly wish you well in learning the structure. I’ve been reading your writing long enough to know how important the LDS church is to you.
The church has programs set up and you pretty much choose what is right for you. To be a visiting teacher is to meet the other sisters and become friends. Your visiting teachers are to a degree, a life line. Also your home teacher. They ensure you always have someone to help you and someone to talk to about any problems you may have. All members don’t want to be visited and all visiting teachers don’t want to visit. If your home teacher and your visiting teachers aren’t meeting your needs you need to speak with your relief socitiy president to be reasigined. I don’t mean harm to anyone, we are all on a different place on the road and I pass no judgement on how good or bad a person is with their calling. I do know if you are a member, you have visiting teachers and a home teacher. I love mine and I also love those I visit. It brings the ward so much closer together.
If I may speak on the gossip issue, my feeling on this is I don’t believe it is gossip to speak of someone in any manner unless it is intended to harm them. I think it is gossip when you want to damage someone with words, hurt them or cause others to think bad of them. If someone has problems of any kind or things going on they may need help with, speaking of it to others will usually spur people into action and get them help or support they need. If everyone kept quiet on everyone, no abused children would get help unless they asked, no abused women unless they asked, ect. It makes since to me anyway.
I think as long as you go to church when you can, attend the meetings that you feel you need. Pray about this and you will know what you need to do.
I’m no expert, but that is how I feel about it anyway.
-Debi
In 2+ years I have only missed one sacrament meeting. Sometimes it was 50 miles to the nearest LDS ward, but I searched them out and went each Sunday.
I have not had Visiting Teachers and Home Teachers all this time because I have been homeless. In April, new assignments were made. I hope someone got me!!! The RS pres says she’s going to have a meeting with me and explain stuff.
A lot of my cluelessness is because I don’t even know enough to ask a question.