I see quite a few folks have already noticed the new link I put up. Heather will be back on the trail soon. You can follow her progress on Trail Journal. Several folks have told me they live near the trail and would like to invite Heather in for dinner or whatever as she hikes past. As you all know….I don’t have much of a memory any more. Contact Heather directly at heatherbowman@me.com
The link is on the right side, or you can go HERE and bookmark it.
There was no sunshine today. It’s cold and damp and windy. The weather is undecided. Sometimes it’s rain, sometimes snow, often times both. It was the perfect day to sleep all day. I have only been awake when Zeke wanted out.
Beth and Luc came in while I was asleep. I never sat up. I tried to talk a bit, but kept drifting off to sleep. They went home.
Zeke has only wanted to go out when he really has to. No lying about on the sidewalk in this weather. All in all a fairly peaceful day.
The leg pains keep trying to come back and dominate my life. I take another Motrin, Mestinon and lung vitamin and go back to sleep. The sensations are uncomfortable, but I have only shed a few tears. It amazes the heck out of me how wiped out I got from last night’s pain and tears! Wow!
As the sun’s weak light gives up and readies for bed, I’m thinking I will again, too….
The router quit working Saturday night. I had done a lot for me, so promptly went to bed.
Sunday I went to church. Just like the last time, I feel like I wasn’t really there. My level of “with-it-ness” is horrible. People and noises and life swirl around me in a confusing whirlwind.
Sitting in a fold-up chair for an hour is torture. Sitting in one for three hours was wicked painful. It’s like the old days when lupus first started kicking my butt. The fluorescent lights gave me a killer headache and I could feel my skin getting “creepy”. Much of the time I wanted to burst into tears and go lie down.
Getting into and out of the back seat of a Volvo isn’t the easiest thing I have ever done, either. My left leg does not bend without tons of pain. Despite all that, I was very grateful to get a ride to church and to be there.
When I got home, I quickly fixed something to eat and with a full belly crashed and slept deeply for a couple of hours.
Sunday evening was some of the worst torture I have felt in a long time. First it was merely uncomfortable. I took my 800 mg Motrin and figured I’d feel better soon. Hah!
Being under fluorescent lights or out in the sun too long has always made my lupus mad. The same old familiar symptoms hit me with a vengeance. I think it has been years since my lymph nodes were that swollen. The ones in my groin felt like they were cutting off my circulation. The ones in my neck were making it painful and difficult to swallow. The lymph nodes in my armpits made it impossible to just let my arms hang down alongside me.
The Motrin wasn’t helping at all. Usually that’s my miracle drug. I did not mean to, but soon I was crying. My legs hurt soooo bad! It was nothing compared to how I would feel later….
I cried for hours while writhing around. Then I started sobbing. That’s when I considered calling the ambulance. The pain was horrific. Then I thought through what would happen to me in the ER. Nurses always get upset that I am in that much pain. I tell them no narcotics, but they ALWAYS end up giving them to me anyways. Then I remembered my bottle of Vicodin. I did NOT want to take one. As the tears streamed down my face and the pain got worse I figured it was better to take a pill and see what happens than to go to the ER. Unlike a shot, it takes at least an hour to make a difference in the pain level. I was in even more agony than before I took the meds.
I writhed and cried, sobbed and screamed. It was AWFUL! I got in bed and did more of the same. Just the bed and bedding touching my legs was torture. I prayed and tried to calm down. It took a long time, but at some point I slipped from agony to sleep. What an awful bunch of nightmares! I woke up early this morning with a grossly swollen face and killer thigh cramps.
This morning I let Zeke out and he came back in covered in snow. Fun times 
I will try to ignore the forecast for snow on Monday. As I type it’s 57 degrees at 1 PM. I’m hoping to see 60! I have my bedroom window wide open 
This is the warmest temp so far this year.
When I stepped outside to scoop dog poop I was surprised to see my van is the only thing in the parking lot. Everybody has gone somewhere to enjoy the day.
Zeke is not too happy with me right now. I decided to give him a bath. It has been months since his last one. I have not had the strength. There were moments I was not so sure I had enough this time. My nice, clean down comforter is a bit of a casualty. When I let Zeke out of the bath tub, the first thing he did was run in the bedroom and rub himself on the 3 edges of my bed to dry off. Good thing the window is open for quicker drying! He now has whiter whites and blacker blacks. Even his butterscotch spots are more butterscotchy. I used the Pantene clone shampoo. Zeke will be busy licking himself dry for a looooooooong time…..
OH, MY GOSH!!!!! This is what it looked like in my dream!
I got up at 3 AM with a wicked bad headache and I hurt all over. I took my meds, sat up for an hour and went back to sleep. WOW! When Zeke woke me up at 8 AM to let him out, I had a very hard time coming back to this world. The dreams and feelings stayed with me. It was very much like right after the stroke. My head was fuzzy and once my attention was caught by the most minute detail, I could not pull myself back to the broader picture.
I actually had some incredible insights to life and eternal life while in that state.
Being awake did not last for long. The bed drew me back. I slept until 11 AM when Zeke wanted to go out again. I am still not quite in this world. The dreams this time were about my van. I want to get it back on the road sooooooooo bad! I want to be able to go to church and the temple. I’d like to be able to drive around and see gardens and flowers , woods and mountains. Since I moved here in October I have very little feel for my sense of place. I have not explored at all around here.
In my last batch of dreams there were two wealthy people who took an interest in me. We met by chance and had fantastic conversations. They had no idea I was poor in cash. To them money was no big deal. Both of them gave me money to fix up the van. In my dream, one gave me a stack of money from New Zealand. I have no clue what New Zealand money looks like. I will have to look it up!
Once I was at least half awake, it felt like I was supposed to find the kind people and let them help me. Most people have more than a couple hundred dollars a month for all their expenses and some people have way more than they need. Wow! That’s hard to even imagine. OK…where are those people with some extra wealth? How will they know who I am and that I need some help right now? Hmmmmmmmmmm…………
I spent the morning watering seedlings, rearranging lights and trays and repotting a flat each of marigolds and zinnias.
Then the maintenance guys decided to sweep up the parking lot with the tractor and a cleaning attachment. I moved the van so they could get into my parking spot.
I took that opportunity to clean out the van. Ick. I gave Zeke a rawhide chew from last summer, which he just finished chewing up. Must be pretty tasty after all that time in the van
Most of the tomato seedlings are up and a few peppers and eggplants. More are sprouting as I type. When they get some true leaves, I will move them to bigger containers. The seedling shelf is almost full. I planted the cabbage family seeds in the trays they will grow out in. Another week or so and it will be time to fill in empty spots and/or thin. The onion family is doing well. Ailsa Craig onions grow to be HUMONGOUS. It’s easy to tell already.
Lots of herbs and celery to repot…they just need a bit more time to get true leaves on ‘em. Feels very green in here
Maybe all the snow outside will be gone tomorrow!
“God has a specific plan for your life. He will reveal parts of that plan to
you as you look for it with faith and consistent obedience. His Son has made
you free—not from the consequences of your acts, but free to make choices.”
Richard G. Scott, Liahona, May 2004, 100–102
Get the Goods! Supplies for Life….
