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It’s hard to drink lots of fluids when I’m not thirsty. I drink as much as I can, but it just makes me queasy.

I was sitting here thinking about this week. If I didn’t have a dog, I would hardly get out of bed. I haven’t been very hungry most of the week and my energy level is zilch. Just now I let Zeke out and I had a heck of a time getting back in the house. The elevation change between the porch and door almost did me in. I busted out in tears because I couldn’t lift my feet and when I tried pulling myself through the door with my arms, they gave out.

I got in the house and my left knee buckled under me, sending me like a drunken sailor, careening across the living room and tripping on every cord along the way. I am discouraged. I have not done the dishes this week. I wanted to vacuum, but I took out the old vacuum bag and put in a new one and I’m too weak to put the cover back on. My square foot garden bed is sitting there without the grid nailed together and unplanted because I can’t find my hammer. I doubt if I could pound in the nails anyways.

Obviously I’m not too dehydrated…I have just enough tears to cry about it. They are awful darn thick, though. I am absolutely having an Oh Poor Me day. Sob…sniffle….

The year I had the worst congestive heart failure was when I spent 9 days in the hospital on IV diuretics. They put an IV in my arm, a catheter in my bladder and just let me lie there and drain. I ultimately lost around 50 pounds. That took quite a toll on my body, though.

I was put in the congestive heart failure program through the hospital and visiting nurses. It didn’t take long until I up and ran away. I was soooooo sick. I don’t know how I stayed propped up in my van long enough to drive from Vermont to Florida! I threw up and had diarrhea in every state on the way down.

Sitting there driving wasn’t too bad…but the moment I stood up each time, I just wanted to die. My head would make waaooowww….waooowww noises as soon as I stood. It cut off my regular hearing as if someone had their hand on a radio dial, cranking it up, then off over and over again. Does anybody know what I’m talking about? What do you call it? How can I look it up?

This has been happening to me over the last couple of weeks. I feel yucky, but OK when sitting and when I get up, the world goes nuts. I’ve been Googling all sorts of things, but haven’t hit upon the right words yet. Can you help? Thanks

Last night and tonight I spent a lot of time writhing around in pain from cramps. I just woke up from a nap and feel worse. At least I had enough energy to water my plants! I wasn’t able to do that earlier. But…when I went to turn off the faucet, the floor was slippery and I did a split. Now my knee is swollen and my arm is purple ;-(    Arggggghhhhh….

I love the stats on WordPress! They never reliably worked on AOL. This blog was started December 20th and made it to 100,000 hits on May 15th. That is one heck of a lot of visits!

I called Rhett to see how the temple was today, but he didn’t go. He was BAD and took three aspirins. That made him sleep all day. When I told him I was going to venture out for groceries, he wanted to come. It was getting late, I took a cold shower first and timed my Mestinon just right. We went to McD’s for two hot fudge sundaes. Mmmmmm….haven’t had one for a month or so. All those cooling things and meds should have made me at least somewhat perky. Pfffffttttttt…..

Sav-A-Lot is a small store and I only had $30 in food stamps to spend…but I was plum tuckered out after the short shopping spree. I wiped out $21 of my spending power to get masa, corn husks, yogurt, bananas, lemon juice, fake crab, jamaica drink mix, peach juice, canned vegies, corn oil, mesclun salad mix and some sauerkraut for Rhett. I’m going to make TONS of tamales to freeze

On the way home my face was going crazy. That’s called fasciculations. For some reason just saying that word feels like what it does. My tongue goes numb…kind of paralyzed. It makes me lisp and my lips, tongue and throat are having a zillion muscle spasms. It gets hard to swallow and my eyelids droop down. Feels CREEPY!

When I got home I decided to look at it all positively. I can walk and drive a car. I had $3 and could afford two sundaes. I live in a free country. I am not blind like Rhett. I had enough gas and a van to drive to the store. $30 a month isn’t much for food, but it’s better than what some people have.

I am blessed….that’s why I am thankfully aggravated. I’d like to be rich and healthy, but wimpy and alive isn’t too bad

I was watching the morning news and they interviewed a couple of women with lupus. They were also promoting this Walk for Lupus.

It is often hard for me to distinguish between where one disease fades into the background and another comes to the forefront. The stupid fevers are definitely thanks to lupus, though. My medical history is soooooo complicated. When I say lupus, it is actually part of Mixed Connective Tissue Disease.

Both lupus and Myasthenia gravis make me feel limp and weak and sick when it’s hot and sunny.

I HATE talking on the telephone! That has a lot to do with why I rarely carry it where I can get to it or why I leave it someplace where I can’t hear it ring. I like it when people leave messages. I can listen to the messages over and over until I understand enough to get the drift.

The only people I talk to regularly on the phone are Heather, Rhett and Judy…and all can attest to the fact that I am constantly saying HUH??? Not only is understanding speech on a phone difficult, but so is talking.

I only go to the store when I’m at my peak of Mestinon performance. When I go to church, it’s on the optimum dose and time for my Mestinon. The rest of the time is iffy. I sound funny. Heather has made it her life mission to tell me it’s time to take more Mestinon ;-p

The speech-hearing-talking thing is something I just plain try to avoid. I’m not that keen on explaining it to everyone around me. Instead I try my darndest to figure out ways around it….like not answering my phone. When I am tired or sick, I cannot say a whole sentence at once. That’s something Heather just loves to chastise me about. She tells me to shut up and breathe ;-p I like that much better than pity.

Other times I can talk OK, but stop in the middle of a sentence and have NO IDEA what I was talking about. Very frustrating! Lupies and fibro folks call it brain fog.

Ummmm…what was I saying?……..

Bibles and Cell Phones

I wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone.

• What if we carried it around in our purse or pocket?

• What if we turned around to get it if we forgot it?

• What if we flipped through it several times a day?

• What if we used it to receive messages from the text?

• What if we treated it like we couldn’t live without it?

• What if we gave it to kids as gifts?

• What if we used it when we traveled?

• What if we used it in case of emergency?

This is something to make you go… hmmmmmmm. Where is my Bible?

Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phone, we don’t ever have to worry about our Bible being disconnected.  Jesus Christ has already paid the bill.

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My refrigerator freezer is like Fibber McGee’s closet. It got so every time I opened it, food fell out. I got a cardboard box that fit and did some organizing. The frozen food was pretty darn slippery so it ended up on the floor and counter. I even put some things in the dish drainer on top of the fridge. Being the ditz that I am, I forgot the food up there. It was a one serving package of tilapia, a one person portion of frozen broccoli and a small bag of frozen green peppers. When I discovered them thoroughly defrosted tonight, I figured it was time to cook.

I put a cup of jasmine rice in the rice cooker. That smells sooooo good! Then out in my herb garden I picked Thai basil, sweet basil, thyme, chives and parsley. I threw some butter and olive oil in a cast iron frying pan and sauteed a diced onion, then added the chopped up herbs. I cleared a spot for the fish and cooked until done on one side. Then I flipped the fish and added the broccoli and green pepper and stirred it in with Everglades Seasoning and lemon pepper seasoning. When heated through I put it over rice and chowed down. Pretty good for an accident